I know we all have those moments where we just say to ourselves “what the hell did I do to this kid to deserve this?!” Tonight was one of those nights.
My daughter is a beauty, and I’m not just saying that. I can’t go anywhere without hearing compliments about her. Her beautiful long brown curly hair or her lovely long eyelashes hiding those big brown eyes. Ever seen the movie Paulie? My daughter looks just like the little girl in the movie. Anyways, when I throw a big colorful bow on her, it makes her look as bright as her personality.
But MAN can this little girl irk you down to your bones!!! I can’t leave her in the living room for 10 minutes (supposedly watching her show) without her getting into something as quietly as can be. She did 6 things wrong in about 3 hours this evening, and yes, I made her count them on her fingers! Mind you, these were all done at different time frames. Probably longest gap was 30 minutes… here goes!
1. I guess my door didn’t smell pretty enough because she sprayed my whole bottle of Febreze on my awesome patio door. You know, the one that’s glass in the middle and has blinds built in?! Yeah, the damn door wreaks of flowery bliss that dad can’t miss when he gets home tonight! Oh, and she sprayed inside and out. Guess that’s why our cat hasn’t come to the door meowing for dinner yet.
2. She loves this $20 trike she got for Christmas. Rides it around this house as if walking would take too much energy but she had plenty of it. However I DID find it strange that she wasn’t riding it much today though. When I went to do my nightly pick up before bed, I found it. In her play room. Covered in soap! Yes, the brand new soap we just bought SUNDAY! No water. Just a slimy soap mess. Oh and yeah it dripped all over my floor too.
3. I knew better on this one… but I know it wouldn’t matter if I rearrange it because she’s a climber. Anyway, I have this wonderful pantry now! Three pull out drawers hiding behind the white cabinet doors she once painted with teal nail polish. Ugh. I guess she was trying to make some sort of coffee cake. Found flour and coffee mixed together all over my kitchen and living room floors. Thank goodness I don’t drink coffee because it’s gone now. Dad may not be so happy with daddy’s little angel tomorrow morning!
4. Guess she thought she could mop it all up without me noticing her coffee cake mess. She “mopped” alright. Everywhere. Maybe it’s my bad for leaving the mop there to dry in the kitchen. I assumed it was dry when I saw her playing with it, but man it was wrong. Water everywhere. Guess she’s never seen me ring a mop out before?! I swear I’m cleaning a mess up with it every day, you’d think she knows how by now!
5. Syrup. Maple freaking syrup. I almost didn’t see this mess, but I’m glad I did. Earlier I did notice the bottle on the counter when I was cleaning up her coffee mess and knew something was up because I haven’t made anything that needed syrup in what, weeks? Of course I didn’t think about it at that moment but it hit me later. So I looked, and bam, found it. A puddle of maple syrup on my bar stool seat. I was banging my head on a wall for this one. Dad sits there. He’d of been so upset if that puddle stained his work pants. It’s not like it’s easy to take off all that gear just to put on new pants.
6. Gotta throw it back to number 3 right quick. That coffee cake I thought she was making? Yeah no… unless toilet water is one of the ingredients, then I’ll be damned. Glad I don’t eat that stuff. I’m just glad that mix can classify as “organic matter” so my septic won’t bite the dust just yet.
All in all, I love her to death, but I thought I was going to need to be admitted for going crazy. But I remained calm. I put her to bed early and got the “but mom I didn’t get to blah blah blah” argument I usually get. I taught her a lesson this time instead of let her negotiate with me. Let’s see if she makes it through tomorrow without getting into trouble!
Hopefully you got a giggle out of this. I still haven’t, but maybe one day I’ll look back on it and I will.
So a note to other moms in the new baby stages… enjoy it while it lasts. Once they’re walking and talking it’s a whole new ball game. Yeah no diapers is cool but this isn’t. I thought nursing and working was hard, but this… this has it beat.
I guess I should be glad our Aussie Slade (Insta: Slade_deathstroke_Wilson_Doggo) didn’t pee on our floor today! Only good kid I had tonight!